Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
we're making bets on your personal life
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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