so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
