I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
A+ Viking dick
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
