you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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