I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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