im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you inspire me to be a worse person
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
