fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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