PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
