She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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