Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
