Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
