In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize