tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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