Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
