just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
