My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
