Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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