Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
