We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
