No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
