Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
