it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
