i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
