And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
