Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
we should paint friendship bongs
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
