she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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