Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
