She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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