i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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