If i come over, it means nothing
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
