i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
