Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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