dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
