I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
