I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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