You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
this hospital has no fireball
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
