If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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