PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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