I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
