i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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