Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
