Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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