Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm having to shit out rocks
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize