So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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