Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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