i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
