The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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