I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
