I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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