All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize