Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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