in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I can't turn off my feet"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
