walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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