I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Let's paint friendship bongs
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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