Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize