So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
