If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize