Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
