whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Randomize
